Don’t tell me you love me if you don’t.  If you actually don’t give a fuck about me, then leave me alone

I just poured my heart out to you.  I trusted you after EVERYTHING you have put my through.  I can’t even.  I still love you, I told you things that nobody knows about me, that I could never talk to anybody else about.  please don’t hurt me again, because i will just come back for more hurt

Is it weird that I am totally obsessed with 12/21/12? I mean seriously, not that far-fetched if you think about it.  Nature needs to kill today’s humans. Or humans will kill nature.  And, if you look at what has happened in the past couple of years…. 

Just once, I would love to have one friend that calls me first to see if I’m doing anything, and doesn’t just call me because everyone else is busy.

Just once I would love to have a friend want to spend time just with me.. talking and laughing and being weird and cool.

Just once, I would love for one of my friends to let me introduce them to something that I like instead of me always hearing their music and watching their favorite youtube videos.

Just once, I would love it if my friends could actually tel that I was hurting and that the smile and laughs were all just a front to not show my hurt.

Just once I would love for someone to notice how much I actually care about them and want them to be happy.

Sometimes I feel like Jacob is my only friend.  Some of my “friends” are pushing me to only think of college,to only think of guys, to only worry about their problems, but Jacob is different.  He and I are the perfect match.  We talk about anything.  He bitches, I bitch, we find common grounds in our bitchiness and hate the world together.  His family has basically adopted me, and no matter what happens he’s still my brother.  I love him more than anything.  He is all of the above mentioned things and so much more.  If I didn’t have him, I don’t know where I would be.

—-I love you, Jacob—- <3

Right now I don’t even care about Sterek.  I just want to be able to stare at Dylan O’Brien’s beautiful face

lizzyisdead:

“I want to emphasize how historical tonight has been. We’ve not only re-elected the first African-American president in American history — we also re-elected the first sitting president to endorse marriage equality. We elected the first openly gay senator. For the first time, we defeated a referendum to ban marriage equality — and for the first time, passed marriage equality by referendum. Tonight will be remembered as a milestone in the progress of LGBT equality in this country.”

—

Noah Baron, Georgetown University Law Student/Mega Cutie (via fuckyeahgaycouples)

just want to add one thing…. our president is not completely African-American! He is mixed-race, and that is hat we should call him.  Because this is a huge milestone for the MIXED RACE community, not the African American community.  OK I’m done being bitchy now

The fact that my parents leave tomorrow and have been in their room since they got home and won’t even respond to my text…. omfg….. 

lizzyisdead:

Run into the storm.  Do not hide from the gray winds battering at your skin.  Do not cower from the rain eating at your body.  Gleefully jump into the yellow lights piercing the earth.  Crunch the dirt between your teeth and wonder only briefly if you’ve swallowed part of your mouth with it.  There is no thought here.  Breathing is effortless, feeling is magnificent, and everything is.  Just is.

 

“Pefry?  Where are you, dear?  I have been calling for you all morning.  Come out of hiding.”

Silence lives in her heart.  There is no child to play hide and seek with.  She is alone.  And what imagination she has.  ‘Pefry’ is such a strange name for a child. 

 

I do not know from where you roam, but please be careful on your journey.

 

If ever you do worry, recall that all is meaningless.  Mayhaps the weights upon your soul will disappear for only a moment so that you may breathe.

 

I am not yet weary of all that there is.  That is a lie.  Tiresome is my name for everything.

 

If I write only what walks around in my head, this is what you would see in my papers.  What horror!

 

“If I touch a burning candle, I can feel no pain.  If you cut me with a knife, it’s still the same.” – Corpse Bride is a wonderful film.

 

I do believe that something is biting me in my sleep.  May it not be bedbugs.  May it not be spiders.  May it be my own delusions.  Insanity I can process. 

 

I feel more and more like a walking corpse for the passion that stirs itself in me.  The more I am inflamed for certain things, the less interested I am in most other cases.  For instance, my diminishing interest in sex itself.

 

I do not believe that my lack of interest in intercourse is directly related to my growing gender dysphoria, though I could see how one might link the two.

 

It is much more than Freud’s penis envy, my dear.  It is more than want of a flat chest or the use of what is considered a ‘male’ name.  It is this feeling that I do not fit into the category handed to me.  That I am not yet me.  That I am not completely seen or heard as I am.  That there is something missing, or extra.  Or both.  And the guilt that I feel knowing that there are others whose dysphoria is much worse, and who do not have the supportive friends that I do.  I know my journey is smoother than most.  I see my privilege.  I check my privilege.  It does not mean that I should be counted out.  I am unknown.  

Yes, Mr. Drury, I know my voice was shaky and I sharped out at a couple of places.  But no, my vocal technique isn’t as bad as you say it is, nor am I as confident as I try t pretend to be.  I was fucking nervous as hell and worried about that madrigal guy staring at me.  At least I TRIED to sing out and I TRIED going by myself when no other altos would.  I TRIED to impress you and you tore me apart in front of my whole choir class.  Why the fuck is it that you had something nice to say to everybody but me? I really DO NOT get it.